God loves families. Scriptures reveal this truth about God’s character from the very beginning. When God wanted to establish mankind, he started with a family of Adam and Eve (Genesis 1-2). Even after their disobedience and fall, when God began restoring humanity, he graciously worked through the family of Abraham. God promised Abraham that “in [him] all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” (Genesis 12:3).
Recently, I have been reflecting on Christian families of our time. My reflections have mainly been about how God works through families today to continue his work of restoring humanity. My wife Joyce and I are blessed with a son and a daughter. My desire for our children to repent and believe the gospel has awakened these reflections.
In this article, I plan to share my reflections on how God uses a Christian home as a means of dispensing his grace. I hope to show that God uses a Christian home as a means of his grace (1) to a husband and wife, (2) to their children, (3) to other believers, and (4) to non-believers. Seeing this, I pray that this truth will strengthen your commitment to building and sustaining a sound Christian home.
What is a Christian Home?
What makes a Christian home? In short, it is the gospel. It is useful to describe a Christian home in its context of family and marriage. More precisely, in the context of the Christian family and biblical marriage.
Genesis 2:24 acknowledges that every biblical marriage establishes a new Christian family. Today, because of Ephesians 5:31-32, a biblical marriage necessarily involves an exclusive union between one man and one woman, both of whom are believers. The moment a husband is joined to his wife in a biblical marriage, the two establish a Christian family—right then and right there.
However, a Christian home is a physical and spiritual environment that a Christian family can build over time. While a Christian family is established automatically, a Christian home requires deliberate efforts to build and sustain. A sound Christian home is a safe and healthy dwelling place for both adults and children. Also, it is an atmosphere where the gospel flourishes, is lived out and can be encountered. Both the physical and spiritual dimensions are necessary for a sound Christian home.
On Means of God’s Grace
Christians usually understand that they ultimately do not deserve their salvation. We have received our salvation through faith as a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8-9). This is what Scripture refers to as God’s grace.
Out of his wisdom, God has appointed some mundane things as means to communicate his grace to us. Question 88 of the Westminster Shorter Catechism names Scripture, sacraments (i.e., the Lord’s table and baptism), and prayer as means of grace:
“The outward and ordinary means whereby Christ communicates to us the benefits of redemption are, his ordinances, especially the Word, sacraments, and prayer; all which are made effectual to the elect for salvation.”
It is critical to grasp that such means of grace do not communicate God’s grace to us by virtue of something inherent in them. Instead, they are effectual because God has appointed them and uses them. For instance, what makes baptism special is not the water used, but the authority that Christ has given to a local church in Matthew 28:18-20 and the faith of the baptised.
Christian Home is a Means of God’s Grace
I desire my son and daughter to grow up to become believers with “boring” testimonies.[1] I mean testimonies without twists and turns, and devoid of extravagant sins. Testimonies that sound like:
I grew up in a Christian home. We had regular family devotions. Our parents were members of a local church where we heard the gospel every week. We were always around other Christian families. I do not remember an exact day but …
Nothing obviously dramatic. Only God’s grace at work—quietly, consistently, and surely.
Such testimonies bear witness to a means of grace that is easy to overlook: a Christian home. As noted before, a sound Christian home is the fruit of a faithful Christian family founded on a biblical marriage. Such a home is a blessing to the husband, wife, children if available, and other outsiders.
First and foremost, God uses a Christian home to graciously mature a husband and a wife in Christ. This happens as husband and wife build and maintain their home; their home, in turn, will be building and sustaining them too.
For example, a Christian home demands a husband who leads his family. As the husband leads his family, say in hospitality, God will use their hospitable home (like mealtimes shared with others) as a means to grow the husband and wife. I can personally testify to this.
Second, God uses a Christian home as a means of his grace to children. A Christian home is a haven for children. It protects children and provides a stable environment for their growth. More importantly, a Christian home consistently exposes children to the gospel.
In a Christian home, children witness their parents live out the gospel. This is remarkably important for children. Among other things, children need to witness their parents forgive one another, trust their God through life circumstances, and prioritise gathering with saints even when it is not convenient. God uses all these to form children and call them to Himself.
Thirdly, God uses a Christian home to bless other believers. Believers need to live in constant fellowship with other believers. Very little of this fellowship can happen when saints gather weekly on the Lord’s Day. Most of the fellowship should take place throughout the week, when saints are scattered. My favourite place of fellowship during the week is in Christian homes. There, saints can freely press into each other’s lives and apply the gospel appropriately—”Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15).
Finally, God uses a Christian home to reach out to non-believers with the gospel. The Bible expects and commands believers to be hospitable to strangers (Hebrews 13:2). Like children, a Christian home provides non-believers with an opportunity to witness the gospel being lived out.
What All This Means for You and Me
Seeing a Christian home as a means of grace is a huge first step. It orients our hearts better toward viewing our homes biblically. It shapes our attitude and the level of effort we are willing to invest in building one. I would encourage you, saint, to reflect on the importance of a sound Christian home and commit to investing your time and effort in improving yours—by God’s grace.
For the most part, building a sound Christian home involves a husband and wife striving to be faithful to what Scripture requires of believers and a married couple. I hope that recognising how God uses a Christian home to bless a Christian family, and others, will motivate you to honour, cherish, and work to build a Christian home. This is one of those areas that always has room for growth.
Notes
[1] Now, I should highlight that calling any testimony “boring” is simply for a lack of a better word. All testimonies bear witness to the extraordinary work of God’s grace over the sinner.
“This is a great reminder that our homes should be a place where others can truly see and feel God’s love.”
This article is a powerful reminder that a Christian Home is more than a place where Christians live: it is an environment through which God displays His grace to family members, fellow believers and unbelievers.
It challenges us to intentionally cultivate homes where the gospel is both taught and visibly lived out.
Thanks so much.
I have many questions but I will ask two.
1. If a christian home is a truly means of God’s grace, should we measure the health of our homes by spiritual activities we practice or by how clearly the gospel is reflected in our daily relationship and conduct?
2. What role should the local church play in helping families establish and sustain Christian homes?
Great questions Hilda.
1. Actually, the two options are not in opposition. Both are needed in a healthy Christian home. The gospel demands the whole of us and our entire lives. So a healthy home will see regular spiritual practices (like praying, singing, and studying Scriptures together), and the activities will not be robotic but driven by love-for-the-gospel that family members have, and that love will be reflected in their conduct and relationships.
2. A local church has a pivotal role in this. In short, what a family strives to be on a smaller scale, a local church needs to be on a larger scale. It needs to preach and live out the true gospel. Church members need to live as one big family of God that they are (displaying love like Romans 12:9-21 elaborates).